Is monitoring employee computers reasonable or an invasion of privacy?

A band 6 model answer to a real TOEFL iBT writing question in the official format, with notes on why it scores. Write your own version below it and get an instant rater-style score.

The question

Your professor is teaching a class on business ethics. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response, express and support your opinion and add to the discussion in your own words. A strong response has at least 100 words. Professor Okafor: Many companies now monitor how their employees spend time on work computers. Is this kind of monitoring a reasonable business practice or an invasion of privacy? Lena: It is reasonable. The company pays for the equipment and the working hours, so it has the right to know they are used for work. Monitoring also protects honest employees when disputes arise. Carlos: I think constant monitoring destroys trust. People do their best work when they feel respected, not watched. Judging employees by results would achieve more than tracking every click.

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Band 6 model answer

I mostly agree with Carlos, and I think the strongest evidence is what monitoring does to the best employees. Lena treats monitoring as neutral record keeping, but people do not experience it that way; being watched every minute signals that the company assumes bad faith, and talented people who have options simply leave. There is also a practical flaw nobody mentioned: activity metrics measure motion, not value. An employee can generate thousands of clicks while producing nothing, while a thoughtful one may stare at a problem for an hour and then fix it in five lines. Judging output, with occasional audits when there is a genuine dispute, protects the company Lena worries about without building a workplace nobody wants to stay in.

Why this answer earns band 6

Concedes the opposing concern (protecting the company) and answers it, which reads as balanced and confident.
The clicks-versus-value example is concrete and original, exactly the elaboration the rubric asks for.
Vocabulary like 'assumes bad faith' and 'activity metrics measure motion, not value' shows precise register.

Do not memorise model answers; raters recognise recycled essays instantly. Study the moves, then make them with your own ideas, and check where you stand with a scored practice.

Questions about this answer

What band is this model answer?

It is written to band 6, and the notes under it quote the answer's own words to show why.

How long should my answer be?

This model answer is 122 words, and the task asks for at least 100.

What is the most common mistake with a model answer?

Memorising it. Raters recognise recycled answers instantly, so study the moves, then make them with your own ideas.