Are taxes on sugary drinks an effective public health tool?

A band 6 model answer to a real TOEFL iBT writing question in the official format, with notes on why it scores. Write your own version below it and get an instant rater-style score.

The question

Your professor is teaching a class on public health. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response, express and support your opinion and add to the discussion in your own words. A strong response has at least 100 words. Professor Haddad: Several cities have introduced special taxes on sugary drinks to fight obesity. Do you think taxing unhealthy products is an effective way to improve public health? Emma: Yes, because prices change behaviour. When cigarettes became expensive, smoking fell sharply. A sugar tax also raises money that can fund hospitals and health education. Victor: These taxes hit low-income families hardest while barely changing habits. People just switch to cheaper brands. Education and affordable healthy food would work better than punishing consumers.

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Band 6 model answer

I support the tax, but Victor's objection deserves a serious answer rather than dismissal. He is right that a flat consumption tax takes a bigger share of a poor family's budget. The evidence from cigarette taxation, though, shows that the same low-income households are also the ones whose consumption falls most when prices rise, which means they capture most of the health benefit too. The fair design is the one Emma hints at: earmark the revenue for clinics and school meals in the very communities paying the tax, so the money returns as services. A tax that changes behaviour and funds health care beats education campaigns that everyone applauds and nobody remembers.

Why this answer earns band 6

Directly answers the strongest counterargument (regressiveness) with evidence instead of ignoring it.
Proposes a design fix (earmarked revenue), which elevates the response from opinion to policy.
The final sentence contrasts the two tools sharply and lands the position.

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Questions about this answer

What band is this model answer?

It is written to band 6, and the notes under it quote the answer's own words to show why.

How long should my answer be?

This model answer is 112 words, and the task asks for at least 100.

What is the most common mistake with a model answer?

Memorising it. Raters recognise recycled answers instantly, so study the moves, then make them with your own ideas.