Does paying children for good grades help or harm their motivation?

A band 6 model answer to a real TOEFL iBT writing question in the official format, with notes on why it scores. Write your own version below it and get an instant rater-style score.

The question

Your professor is teaching a class on psychology. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response, express and support your opinion and add to the discussion in your own words. A strong response has at least 100 words. Professor Ibrahim: Some parents pay their children for good school results. Does rewarding children with money help them learn, or does it damage their motivation? Fatima: It helps. Children are not naturally interested in every subject, and a reward gives them a reason to sit down and start. Adults work for salaries, so why should study be different? Lukas: Paying for grades teaches children that learning has no value in itself. The moment the payments stop, so does the effort, and that is a poor preparation for university.

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Band 6 model answer

Fatima and Lukas are both right, but about different children at different moments. Research on motivation keeps finding the same pattern: a reward is useful for starting a behaviour and corrosive once the behaviour exists. Paying a child who has stopped opening books can restart a habit, while paying one who already reads for pleasure teaches them that reading is work worth avoiding unless someone is paying. So the question is not whether money works, it is when to withdraw it. I would pay for effort that can be measured honestly, such as completed practice, never for grades themselves, and I would let the payments fade as the results start to reward the child on their own.

Why this answer earns band 6

Reframes a yes or no question into a question of timing, which is a genuinely new contribution.
Distinguishes paying for effort from paying for results, a specific and defensible policy.
Hedged appropriately ('research keeps finding') rather than inventing precise statistics.

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Questions about this answer

What band is this model answer?

It is written to band 6, and the notes under it quote the answer's own words to show why.

How long should my answer be?

This model answer is 117 words, and the task asks for at least 100.

What is the most common mistake with a model answer?

Memorising it. Raters recognise recycled answers instantly, so study the moves, then make them with your own ideas.